#example: that's it i'm mostly talking about them

[helaenarchive]

‼️ TRIGGER WARNING: CSA ‼️

My thoughts on Phia's interviews talking about Helaena's marriage as an autistic survivor and lover of Helaena:

Helaena was married aged fourteen (a child) to someone shown as sexually predacious (even described as evil by Phia), and then was pregnant not soon after.

These are all glaring signs of CSA.

All Helaena's relationships interest me and I want to explore the reality of their marriage at this time when she was a little girl. This was the first big trauma of her endlessly tragic life. Phia has discussed how Helaena puts duty before everything, and this is the root.

Helaena and Aegon are shown and described to have a distant and strained relationship, not one of mutual respect or healthy partnership. Let's explore this in the context of abuse.

Below is a script exerpt of Helaena looking at Aegon with “flat detachment” (disassociation) when faced with the aftermath of him raping Dyana. Furthermore, how Alicent hugs her as she realises that Helaena has endured a similar fate to herself.

Credit: Darksvster

Now, at the dinner we see them again. But this time, Helaena makes a toast: “Mostly he just ignores you, except sometimes when he’s drunk,” as Aegon rolls his eyes at her, implying that he neglects her as a wife except for when he needs sex (something she doesn't get a say in). He can also be seen sexually harassing Baela and Jace as Helaena sits next to him, trying to focus on other things.

From the script we get more about their dynamic in descriptions of how “lonely she has been”. She's so happily surprised that someone would pay her attention as Jace did. Loneliness and low self esteem are extremely common in survivors, just like with Helaena.

Credit: Darksvster

At Laena’s funeral, referring to their betrothal, Aegon outright calls her an idiot and (in my opinion) makes a sexual ‘joke’ involving her. This younger Aegon also masturbates out of windows, showing the pleasure he reaps from exerting sexual power over non-consenting others.

That isn't a sign that she was respected. Alongside Aegon's persistent characterisation as a sexual assaulter, implies that any consummation wasn't going to be consensual, but on his terms only.

She was a child forced to marry her raping brother and led a very lonely life.

Exploring this dynamic is incredibly important, and how it develops, but I don’t see the point if we don’t acknowledge the reality of this from Helaena’s point of view.

This life was forced upon her by the system, Aegon included.

Apologies for lack of a better example, but Daemon didn't consummate his marriage. It's not essential. If he respected her he wouldn't have had sex with her. He did because he wanted to and could without repercussions. It’s not nice to think about, but in this deeply patriarchal society, he has an immense power over her that she does not also have over him. He was abused, just as Helaena, but he also abuses her. It is not as simple as them both being equal, because they are not. In daily routine, he can frequent brothels and assault the help, she has to take care of the children and do whatever is asked of her.

It hurts and troubles me to see people act like Helaena isn’t a victim, especially with what we're shown.

At 14 she was forced to marry her rapist brother and used by him for sex. No child could consent to that.

I'm not saying that this is everything their dynamic was or will be, or that she hates him in any way, but just that this is at their core. It purposefully parallels Alicent's child marriage to Viserys.

Please be kind. I'm not attacking but trying to shed light on this. I'm trying to open up this discussion to what Helaena's perspective was and to do some honest scene, relationship and character analysis. 

[alexandritefang]

I'm probably just being dumb but I don't understand some of your posts...

The ones where you talk about making a sub all twitchy and desperate with pleasure... But you don't mention what he'd be doing for you to earn the pleasure... Like I don't understand how there can be pleasure without doing something for you to get the pleasure😶

Pleasure is what you get from serving and obeying...

I'm sorry for being dumb I just wanted to be able to learn so I can be better please 🥺

🌹

That may be because I'm a hellish pleasure dom, so I adore to write about subs receiving pleasure. But there's no problem angel, I'll help you with that.

As you said, pleasure is something you get from serving and obeying. But the thing with my brain is that a sub being good (even not within the sexual setting) is already a excuse to treat them good. I'll give you some examples:

Are you getting hard by wearing a collar? My brain: Do you think he drools if he gets teased enough? I bet he does, he for sure would look sooo pretty...

Are you putting on a suit to go to wherever?

My brain: Hot. How would he look like if he got his arms tied up by his necktie sitting on a chair with his clothes still but with his belt unbuckled? Oh, I bet his thghs look yummy as he buckles his hips up...

Are you exercising?

My brain: If he gets pegged, would his moans get high-pitched or turn into messy depper growls? Would he arch his back to get spanked or his body would give up just like it did finishing this set?

Are you studying or very focused on a task?

My brain: So diligent. Would he keep that composure if I slutted him out? I bet he would beg like a needy whore...

Of course I do love when he's a sub within sexual interaction. Using pretty clothing and accessories to show off just for me, listen to my orders and adoring me are definitely a turn on but that's not necessarily the only thing that gets me aroused.

That's because a sub's pleasure is what's turn me on, is the thing my brain seeks the most. I wanna watch him aroused, because he's the prettiest letting go of things, because his reactions turn me on.

You deserve the pleasure not just because you have been good, but mostly because I need to see how it looks on you, how it's provoked on you.

[syndrossi]

Hi Syn!

You might have already been asked/answered this. Tried to check all verse au tags just in case and the comments, but does Mance and other wildlings sneak into and around Winterfell to view King Daemon, dragons, and his children?

I’m curious since it seems like he’s fine to let Ned continue with dispensing Northern justice in the name of the king. If said king is there, and handle that kind of stuff on his own with little interference, but if someone wants to view dragon flame up close Daemon is more than happy to introduce them to Caraxes. Would Daemon have a similar set up as Ned (his children once reaching age to view things) and have W!Jon and the twins standing nearby to witness the dracarys? I know the Targ kids have seen it in action before and their House words are Fire and Blood, but how does Daemon balance kingship and parenting?

I meeeaaan, I think they'd be pretty curious, so a little scouting might be in order. But also, Mance canonically snuck into Robert's traveling party before it arrived at Winterfell, so he's already there with a front row seat for Daemon's eventual arrival!

As for Daemon showing his children "dracarys," do you mean executing someone via dragonflame? Because I'm pretty sure the first thing he's giddy to show a new Targaryen adoptee is Caraxes roasting a nice sheep.

If we're talking executions, I'd say he's almost proud of the practice? So I don't think he'd blink even with the twins at their current Resonant ages of eight to roast a man in front of them. Granted, they're a lot more mature than most eight-year-olds. If they were much younger, he'd probably wait until they were a bit older.

As to how Daemon balances kingship and parenting, that's a whole other can of worms! He knows he doesn't want to be the kind of father Viserys was as king, where he hardly spends any time with his littles since Rhaenyra. But he's also not the best delegator in the world (mostly due to pride), so I could see him overworking himself at first trying to do everything until Jon/Baelon and Rhaegar/Aemon sit him down and force him to foist off some of the work. It would shock me if the twins didn't try taking up some of it themselves. R!Jon has very applicable work experience and Rhaegar was literally raised to do this sort of thing.

I think the biggest struggle for Daemon will be reconciling his desire for his children to be happy and the demands of the Crown. If Dany falls in love with someone outside of House Targaryen, for example, can he allow the match? The risks of dragonrider blood falling into the hands of other houses is quite high. What if Rhaegar doesn't want whichever holdfast Daemon decides to strip from traitor houses? Should he allow all of his children to bond to dragons? What does he do about the flood of proposals for matches for all of his sons?

It's very hard to navigate the middle ground between Jaehaerys dictating his children's/grandchildren's futures for "the good of the realm" (aside from his three eldest children) and Viserys's "do it for the vibes" approach where he was hesitant to control his children/grandchildren at all.

[killjpeg]

I think it's very funny that this is the only significant post i made on that blog and is the only reason the blog is still up. It's been a while and rereading this I think some of my thoughts had changed, having come down the high of hyperfixation I had and bias. All and all I still stand by pretty much all of it, but here are some points I want to correct/elaborate more on:

"Unless when Shockwave said he was going to give Megatron a gestalt he meant he'll postpone it for 4mil years and do it a little before he succeeded with Devastator so Ambulon deserting LITERALLY as he is picked out for the combiner project JUST to avoid it"

I already put the examples in the post a little after this but this is not too farfetched Shockwave was taking his time with the gestalt, as he literally says it's not his first priority. I think I'm more accepting of the thought that Ambulon was a volunteer, but for me I'll stay by the idea that his MTO team was built long before being experimented on for the gestalt - as the problem seems to be their inability to "connect" mentally that Shockwave also was trying to fix. The reason why I'm so set on this is the way Ambulon explains his name:

"Ambulon: from the verb 'to ambulate', meaning 'to walk about'. It's a stupid name..."

To me diegetically it comes off as something he was told rather than having any choice in the matter. As well as talking about his alt mode as something he was "born" with instead of being made into without his consent.

And for us it was meant to serve as a twist that his name is not formed from an "ambulance". All things considered, it works anyway, so it wouldn't even make sense he'd be so upset about it - which just cements it for me that he was told what his name explicitly means to him and not other way round.

"I'm gonna also get this out of the way that Ambulon's established character is continuously ignored, dumbed down and twisted: the point is that I do believe JRO didn't think about him that much or that deep, and what he did with him did not retain with him into further issues. That is to say, "You're gonna let Dr DJD cut us in half?" is a dumb fucking line to come out of Ambulon specifically, makes no sense, too snarky and cruel all things considered, and while I think it's also very funny it jsut shows Ambulon's accidental insignificance. Ok. That's all."

I'm going to completely back off from this point mostly because it was majorly charged from my bias towards his character and a lot of distaste for JRO (which i still have but its neither here nor there).

In-story it makes sense to me he'd react uncharacteristically and snarky when his life is literally on the line - if anything it serves to show how mean he can be when put in a high stakes situation, and obviously he'd be pissy about Pharma betraying all of them. I wonder if it was an in-joke between him and First Aid for a bit as a way to cope with the fact their boss killed people and tried to kill them allegedly (even though there are good reasons to believe Pharma didn't and wanted all three of them to leave).

Like it doesn't remove my point that his character was not considered of thought into deeper than what we got in those first issues but it doesn't contradict his character either.

"You see, I think Pharma is incredibly caring person. He cares for his patients and he cares for his people. He takes his work extremely seriously. He's willing to be a donor for his patient and he's still conducting research to cure illnesses when there was no legitimate point for him to do that anymore. He's not just a surgeon, but he's a virologist/epidemiologist."

Here I just want to elaborate more cuz I got some new thoughts on the matter.

Medics in MTMTE story ultimately have an overlapping theme of purpose that many other character don't exactly have. While the theme of purpose and shape is a prevalent throughout the whole story, it is especially emphasized with the medics and their inherent ability for healing, their hands. It puts them in a very narrow idea of what they're supposed to be doing with their life. You can choose to be a doctor but not if your shape doesn't permit it (ur a jet) but if you have good hands then sure you can try. This is where a Pharma dilemma coming from and is very interesting to me.

Pharma is more than anyone is defined by his desire to fulfill his purpose, because he doesn't see himself outside of it, an even bigger extreme than what we saw of Ratchet. He's so dedicated to asserting his place in the world he ruins his life about it. He does not want to be viewed as lesser than, his ego is keeping him from reaching out, and the kinda person he is just puts him into position where all he can do is double down.

And I've rambled on about my point (because I wrote the entirety of the original post in one sitting) too much that I feel like I didn't elaborate it even close enough.

Ambulon and Pharma are driven by their desire to serve a purpose, while both defying what that "purpose" even means. Neither of them by the facts we're given in text are supposed to be doctors - they're not the right shape for it. But nevertheless, they are doctors. But for Ambulon, he is choosing his purpose and his place in the world, while Pharma has rushed himself into a corner. Pharma in desire to chase his purpose and assertion of his value has put aside why he's doing it - because he does care for people, he doesn't actually want anyone to die and suffer, but in a circumstance where his interests are being challenged, he chose what's best for him, specifically, hoping it just works out for others in the end.

Their Amica Endura could've been defined by enhancement of each others strong points, of Ambulon being Pharma's anchor from spiraling and letting his flaws drive his actions, and Pharma sympathizing with Ambulon's dysmorphia and giving him respect he deserves for his achievements, despite DJD, despite what functionism dictates, that Ambulon stays faithful to his oath as a doctor.

I genuinely don't think there's anyone who would understand them better than they would each other, in a better world.

Of Ambulon and Pharma and doomed amica endura

I'll preface that I'm the last person to try and explain my ships by how canon they are and this is very much the same case of me just entertaining the idea and what their relationship represents and what role they play in a wider story, this is not an invitation for discourse or a debate. It's just me rambling on why I like the ship so much, think Pharma and Ambulon are narrative foils, while using some canon stuff and word of god.

Jokes about hamburger or hot dog or literally anything regarding Ambulon's death will end in block idc I think it's obnoxious 👍

CW for robot gore, discussions of torture, you know, the package that comes with DJD and Decepticons and MTMTE.

When it comes to Ambulon and Pharma's relationship, I think it's fair to start with bare bones, yeah?

I'm going to start with each character individually, what my take on them is, so we're all on the same page.

Ambulon

So, the basics are:

Ambulon was part of the failed combiner project of decepticons, the first combiner at that. He has horrible alt mode, that brings him a lot of shame, so he prefers to keep it a secret. He switched to the Autobots, eventually.

We don't know for certain if he was created for the project, or was one of the "volunteers". What we do know though, is that he's an MTO specifically, not just constructed cold, and MTOs were a concept of war.

Meaning, he cant be older than the war. Meaning, in my personal opinion, he was either made for some operation, then snatched by Shockwave for the project, or was created already specifically for the project.

There, I think, comes a timeline conflict. It feels unfeasible, to me, that MTOs were made this early into the war, by Decepticons. What I think happened, is that Shockwave did try to experiment on other Decepticons to figure out and develop on Jhiaxus' research, but once MTOs as a concept came into the picture, it became infinitely easier to just have an alt mode pre-made for a mech.

Unless when Shockwave said he was going to give Megatron a gestalt he meant he'll postpone it for 4mil years and do it a little before he succeeded with Devastator so Ambulon deserting LITERALLY as he is picked out for the combiner project JUST to avoid it makes this line from him especially funny:

Boy for all we know you're not even 15 years old.

Also the idea that character like Ambulon did that out of some sort of cowardice, that THIS was his breaking point to join Autobots, feels wrong.

In-text it becomes even less likely Ambulon had a life before the project, as his name "Ambulon" seems to be the only one he ever had (judging by his statue post on Necroworld).

I think why I'm getting a Little long-winded explaining Ambulon is to draw a better picture on his experience with Decepticons, Specifically Shockwave.

That to say, he had a horrible one. He knows better than anyone what Decepticons are capable of and how far they will go/what Megatron would allow. Especially once DJD comes into the picture.

And it just emphasizes the way Ambulon in the end of it all chose kindness. The first issues he appeared in cement it very well, especially since most of his intro we get from First Aid's point of view.

Ambulon is tetchy, can be a gearstick sometimes

Ambulon took pity on the Decepticons he thought were hunted down by the DJD

Ambulon convinced Pharma to let them stay

The Genericons showed their scars to Ambulon specifically

Ambulon gets passionate about hate crimes concerning one's shape/alt mode

Ambulon is "tetchy" and rejects First Aid's idea because he's concerned that it's too risky

For Ambulon to put your own life on the line to save a single life is an act of selfishness (also stemming out of his concern for First Aaid, imo)

Ambulon let the Genericons share a cell

To sum it up: Ambulon is very greatly concerned for the greater good and treating people without bias, Decepticon or Autobot, especially when there's any sort of discrimination involved.

(Using Genericons and Triple M as a tool with Ambulon was a very clever foreshadowing for Ambulon's situation, but it is a general theme that runs in these issues and Ratchet's/medics character arcs, it's the functionism, one's shape and purpose in life, but it is a completely different post to make. Just let's keep the theme of one's shape and purpose in mind.)

The thing is, Ambulon is who he is by choice. His Decepticon past is always showing, whether he wants it or not, but all he wants, essentially, is to help people and treat them with kindness. He's a "gearstick", but he's a gearstick with a big spark. He saw the greater cruelty in Decepticons and made a choice to never participate in it.

Ambulon is an MTO who made his life and became what he wants to be despite everything: Decepticons, his alt-mode, biases, all of that. He's true to himself and his intentions.

I'm gonna also get this out of the way that Ambulon's established character is continuously ignored, dumbed down and twisted: the point is that I do believe JRO didn't think about him that much or that deep, and what he did with him did not retain with him into further issues. That is to say, "You're gonna let Dr DJD cut us in half?" is a dumb fucking line to come out of Ambulon specifically, makes no sense, too snarky and cruel all things considered, and while I think it's also very funny it jsut shows Ambulon's accidental insignificance. Ok. That's all.

Pharma

Oh boy this one's a doozy. Okay, listen, I'll try to get more brief with it, try to get straight to the point, but Pharma has so much nuance around him on a greater scheme of things that it might also just be it's own post. SO we'll just try to focus on his persona and relations to others.

Pharma is a doctor of talent on par with Ratchet, if not actually better. He used to be friends with him, he's implied to have used to do medical service in the new institute, and eventually was stationed on Delphi by Prowl, practically abandoned by Ratchet. There, he ends up being blackmailed by Tarn, ending up killing his patients to meet the increasing quota, being led to the brink of creating a virus that he exposes the facility to in hope to close it down and escape it scot-free. Obviously, because of Ratchet, it didn't work, the rest is history.

Unlike Ambulon with his 3 panels and a half of screentime worth talking about character-wise, Pharma is a combination of multiple things at once, his place as an Autobot, his connection to the DJD, his act, and most of his actual character we get from very few shots of him from the past and what people say of him, and just a little of his behavior at Delphi before his crime is revealed.

So I think we'll focus specifically on the Decepticon part when it comes to Pharma cuz it's much easier to talk about.

Pharma vehemently, without hiding it, hates Decepticons.

It will go into even bigger field of speculations than trying to piece Ambulon's character together for why he hates them so much. It could both just be a thrown in line for the story to flow (Genericons) and act as a foreshadowing (DJD blackmail), the fact of the matter is, he hates Decepticons, he does not have pity for Decepticons, and if DJD did not play into his hatred, years of war for sure did.

(Also worth mentioning that in the issue #4, the paralleling story is Tailgate learning about the war and backing off on his decision to be a Decepticon. The entire build up works very well, imo, and plays into just how much it should hit you when Pharma turns out providing for DJD, along with the choice of Ambulon to not be a Decepticon anymore.)

You see, I think Pharma is incredibly caring person. He cares for his patients and he cares for his people. He takes his work extremely seriously. He's willing to be a donor for his patient and he's still conducting research to cure illnesses when there was no legitimate point for him to do that anymore. He's not just a surgeon, but he's a virologist/epidemiologist.

But, probably when we ask ourselves, "So if he was such a wonderful doctor, equal to Ratchet, someone Ratchet recognizes, why wasn't he the Chief Medical Officer in the first place?"

I think it's mostly his personality. It's his hubris and ego. It's also the inherent societal bias of Cybertron when it comes to jets - though this part of worldbuilding isn't that consistent, he is a forged jet AND a doctor.

And that's also why I think he doesn't believe in that "forged" functionism bullshit. BUT thats another post of its own (take a shot every time i say that in this post).

Let's just bullet point this:

Pharma is a talented doctor who's good and dedicated to his job. Practically nothing is impossible for him and it becomes a focal point of his conflict with Ratchet, too.

That said, Pharma's shape is what, I think, is responsible for his hubris. He's a jet, he's forged, he's a doctor, but he's a doctor because HE, PHARMA, is good. Nothing to do with some God. (which is different from Ratchet's internalized functionism)

Pharma hates Decepticons, he tried to kill the DJD, and it may seem like he pushed it all on Ambulon because he was a Decepticon, but I don't think that's the case. Specifically because of this:

He does not see Ambulon as a Decepticon, and it was just panicked shitty lie he had to quickly come up with on the spot.

Pharma feels guilt for his actions, and after killing Ambulon, he's actively taunting First Aid to kill him.

Pharma is a jet doctor trapped in the loop of self-sabotage after being exploited, psychologically tortured and left for dead, after a poor attempt of saving face. Pharma is a jet doctor who embraced his new look, but couldn't live with it, far from accepting it. Furthermore, his body is used by Adaptus himself, where the only thing he could do is trying to get his body back, to help his comrades, only to end up dying, again.

That's where I'm going to use a single word of God that makes, all in all, a lot of sense.

"Grurdging respect" is about best way to describe Pharma and Ambulon.

Now since I've reached the image limit on this post it's relentless rambling and speculations time!

You probably can already tell where I'm going with this. I think Pharma and Ambulon direct inversions of each other.

Decepticon gone Autobot as a choice - Autobot gone rogue out of blackmail and fear of failure

MTO doing what he wants to do and taking control of his body and life, disconnected from a gestalt or his "purpose" - A forged jet trying to continue his career of a doctor despite all the odds but who's agency is continuously taken, not only by others but by his own ego

Where they overlap, is their desire to do what they want. Where they differ, is one's sincerity and other's toxicity.

Ambulon is someone Pharma would never be, and someone he, on meta level, wishes he was more like. He doesn't want to be Ratchet, even if we think a little about his obsession and desire to prove to Ratchet that he's better, he wants to be someone Ratchet would respect. And in the end of the day, it all didn't matter anymore, because clearly Ratchet never respected him enough in the first place: "waging a war on his body", taking body parts for his own gain (hands), that Pharma didn't even really care about anymore. It was personal. He wanted Ratchet to hurt.

All of this, ultimately, is justified. Little who would respond to knowing someone who betrayed you (and whom you, also, betrayed) also breached boundaries of your autonomy. It's just basic decency. I don't believe TFs never heard of that or don't follow it, in some fashion. Maybe it's more loose, but for the purpose of drama and villification of Pharma, it was convenient, I guess.

See, Pharma is just inherently, like anyone, very flawed. The circumstance he's put in and the war led to the worst of his qualities spike. And in relation to Ambulon, it's the inverse of a person who, having seen the horrors of the war, having been through the horror and the existential dread of being in a gestalt, chose kindness anyway.

"Grudging respect". A jet doctor, a genius, and an ex-soldier MTO, who made the choice of helping people. An ex-Decepticon, too, no less.

See how it could've developed into something more?

Both eager to do their job, Ambulon is a perfect stabilizer for Pharma's general emotional response to things. He may be a good doctor, but he's prone to acting and saying things before really thinking about it. Ambulon is capable of convincing him and giving a good argument, without it being personal.

"Grudging respect" with Ambulon working with one of the best doctors out there, who's work is going to be invaluable even after his death.

And if things worked out differently? Do you think Ambulon wouldn't be there to sympathize with Pharma's trauma regarding DJD? Do you think Ambulon wouldn't pity Pharma for what Tarn put him through? Ambulon? The Decepticon who was there? The one who even should fear DJD the most? The one who might've even triggered DJD once he was so close on the radar?

He might've confided in Pharma in the first place, as someone literally second in charge after him.

Pharma and Ambulon are defying Adaptus as a societal concept, among with the existential idea of your shape dictating your purpose. And within the text they don't just defy, they end up suffering the most out of it - Pharma ends up in a position where his hands are praised more than he, as a person, is, Ambulon dies by these hands, and his death dooms Pharma as well.

I hope it was comprehensive enough, i WISH i could include more images to prove my point. The amica endura would've been insane. If only the circumstance was different.

[jackalopc]

burn notice week (day 1) - reputation

so i'm technically a few minutes late with this, and it's thrown together haphazardly so i do apologize lmao i'm just now thinking about this after the ask i got and i think i can tie it into one of the day 1 prompts: "a reputation can be a powerful tool". mostly in that i want to talk about michael's reputation in a more round about way (so maybe its more fitting that i'm writing and posting this just after midnight lmao it probably barely counts for this prompt admittedly)

so we learn in the last season that it's really not until michael is under larry's mentorship that michael really blossomed into his career. he wasn't bad, mind you, he wouldn't be that far if he was. but he was average. the michael westen we know and love was very much carved out and refined during that time.

it's also probably where the start of his legendary reputation really started. yes he is more known for his solo work, but it had to start somewhere. and yes, thankfully, michael didn't follow larry into hell like he could have, he didn't become a simon.

i sometimes can't help but wonder why they chose simon of all people -- to take the crimes of and slap them onto michael. was it purely convenience? if so on what end? michael's or simon's?

we do know part of the reason it's so easy to do this, is because it's his job not to be anywhere... michael says as much. when you don't have an alibi or you're strictly off the record, you have nothing you can use to back up claims of things you did or didn't do.

but it still needs to be believable. even by people who might know more of his reputation due to dealing with him.... i wonder, did having larry as a mentor and their work together, influence that?

the boogieman michael is, post-burn notice is very different from the one he was when he was with larry, in his early days. there is a reason he is deeply feared by the russian's, for example. to the point where they speculate if michael westen is just an alias because surely no one person can be so good...

it's just interesting to think about. what is there to work with isn't much, when it comes to plastering something onto paper to fake events. but again, it still needs to be believable. surely, there has to be something there, reputation wise, history wise, that can act as a beginning thread that you then weave into this false narrative that you can track. like 'ah yes of course he did these crimes because look at what he did back then!'

i just wonder how much of it is because of his time with larry, if thats true...

[carbonateddelusion]

I FUCKING LOVE MAKING CHARACTERS HYPOCRITES !!! I LOVE MAKING OCS I FUNDAMENTALLY DISAGREE WITH THE OPINIONS OF !!!!!!! I LOVE WHEN THERE'S BAD IN THE GOOD AND GOOD IN THE BAD !!!

[corseque]

I honestly just wanted one single plot step that I could not predict given the 10 year wait. More behind the cut, I talk about Emet too, and I'm comparing his writing favorably to Solas' writing and why it worked better for me personally, but I am just talking about the writing skill that went into the games and not the dudes themselves, I love them both dearly of course. idk this is a mess and I am not going to edit it for clarity

For me, the game was a series of me saying

"ok I knew that. cool."

"oh yeah, I knew that. I guess it's good that the larger fandom knows about that now."

"nice, but yeah I already knew that too"

"that was something we've been talking about a lot for years"

"this thing they are acting like is a huge enormous reveal that the characters could not possibly have deduced through simply thinking about it in depth over the 10 years... the fans easily figured out by thinking about it in depth 10 years ago. So you would think his girlfriend would be able to figure it out more easily than we did. Like, why couldn't the game have been like 'oh lavellan already figured that out a while ago' it would have cost them nothing"

"this is something I've been thinking about for years, and now that it's being revealed, the companions' reactions to it are very irritating and jarring and unnecessary and I really dislike the experience I'm having right now, in this, the hour of my greatest triumph"

"this thing that is happening on my screen right now is something that I wrote an essay about 2 years ago describing how it would be a letdown if it happened without the correct setup"

"this way that they're characterizing Solas makes him less likable and less interesting than I have been finding him for all these years, and I have had people tell me 'no, he's simpler than you think' for years but I guess I was wrong, he really is simpler than I thought, so that fucking sucks. I wish I could take that information out of my brain."

"this thing is a retcon of information I have been thinking about for 10 years, and so I don't know how to follow along with this new direction, and I'm not sure if I even want to because it's not particularly interesting anyway"

"aw that was sweet"

"why is it like, so very impossible to have an honest back-and-forth with my favorite character about the dilemma that was most interesting to me about the previous game"

and then, as soon as, like, the other fans had caught up to the Solas lore that was really obvious from the other games, the game was.... over without anything surprising happening, or introducing a new element or plot point or perspective, or a real true twist (or two, or three) for those of us who have thought about it too hard for too long. It was very simple and easy, much, much, much, much easier than I was imagining. It all felt sort of like that Nicholson quote:

The thing was, the whole story was so interesting to think about because in 10 years, I couldn't figure out a good solution to it!!!!! It's why I was never able to write post-game fanfic about it. So I was stoked to find out some reveal we never knew about, some new information, in maybe a SERIES of steps of new information, that made the situation more complicated but also something that could be navigated by everyone involved. I know it was asking for a lot, but they had TEN YEARS, and they seemingly had set up the things they did in DAI on purpose, so surely they had some idea of a complex and satisfying narrative that would reconcile everyone.

The reason why I was expecting this is because FFXIV did a very similar story arc, which was started AND concluded WITHIN those 10 years (so it took the FFXIV team far less time to deliver as well). And the conclusion to the story in FFXIV did what I was expecting Dragon Age to do. So I thought, "holy shit, if this is the FFXIV version of this plot, how much more complicated is DA4 going to be!?!?" The DA devs also PLAYED FFXIV so they were completely aware, several years ago, of a satisfying story ending that was pretty darn similar.

People are probably going to think "oh, well Chelsea was disappointed because she spent too much time building it up in her head" but that's exactly it - I actually speculated and thought about FFXIV's story IN DEPTH NONSTOP for a year+ before its ending came out, and the ending absolutely blew me away. FFXIV Endwalker managed to introduce information and new story elements that I was not able to figure out in the YEAR I spent speculating on the ending of FFXIV's story. It took a complicated situation and revealed several several more facets to it that I was not able to predict, but were very interesting and thematically compelling, and took us all to surprising and climactic places that we could not have predicted.

Endwalker ("end" is in the title on purpose) too, was written to be THE ULTIMATE SATISFYING ENDING for a very long-running story in the exactly way that Veilguard SHOULD HAVE for Dragon Age, so while this complexity is being explored, FFXIV also gave catharsis to many different plot threads that have been built up through the previous expansions, until finally it ends with a bang. The story is desperately good to me, I loved it, it gave me closure for Dragon Age long before Veilguard was even revealed, and going back and looking at its story has made this whole thing far less painful for me.

So, I actually did not have a picture in my mind for how things SHOULD go. I just had the thought "I hope it's complicated and there are points of view or facts that we haven't before been exposed to, and the situation is resolved respectfully for Solas, not making him look like a fucking idiot (lol, the only thing I asked for). I don't even care what happens to Solas and Lavellan, I just need the story to be complicated and interesting to think about. Please, god, don't let it be "solas is wrong and he just needs to be convinced" because that's like the simplest story you could tell with this setup"

(btw they managed to tell Emet-Selch's story without making him seem like he's being an idiot on purpose or can never get anything right, and in fact the more the story goes on, the more you think of him as smart and capable and cool, so it is possible to write.... I wasn't asking for the entire moon)

And I played it and... yeah. Most of the story beats were more simple than I wanted them to be, a lot of them didn't make sense in my heart given the writing from Inquisition. (This is another essay, but if Solas' thematic story arc was always about him needing to let go of regrets, why was his personal quest the way it was? After that quest, doesn't he end up regretting not doing more....? Why did he never really talk about regret during Inquisition? If he was so trapped by regret, why was he able to do so many actions? It doesn't mesh well to me. The whole regret thing was very quarter-baked to me, I don't even like thinking about it.) His story never seemed like one that was as simple as being about one man's regrets, but then, I guess, it was always just about one man's regrets.

Emet-Selch's personal storyline (and the way it interacts with and affects the larger story) is very similar but much more cohesive and satisfying to me. It would be difficult to explain why without the aforementioned 5-hour essay. Emet-Selch's story IS about grief and anguish on a world-shaping scale in a similar way that Solas' was apparently always about letting go of regret, but Emet's story was also very pointedly and beautifully about that one theme for the entirety of his story from every tiny detail, from beginning to end - meanwhile, it seemed to me that they tried to introduce 'regret' as the main thrust of Solas' story only in the short story with the Regret demon onward.

From Inquisition just by itself, the closest I personally could get to a story theme for Solas was his inability to trust others hurting him and the world, but his trusting others in DA4 wasn't really addressed to my satisfaction. He is never required to trust anyone before the ending, he never opens up or makes himself vulnerable at all. People find out information about him, he never really dynamically opens himself. So the personal story I thought he had was never addressed at all, while a new one about regret was introduced that never made a ton of sense to me. And I don't think this is just because of my expectations - my reaction to FFXIV proves that I am able to meet good writing where it goes in surprising directions, as long as it's interesting and thoughtful and clear.

And I think this might be part of what people felt was off about the ending - Solas is sort of uninvolved in the revelations that are about him, and doesn't do much to be part of his own ending. Part of what I loved about Solas in Inquisition is that he is not controlled by you in any way, and so he feels like his own person with a very strong sense of character.

Anyway, Emet-Selch, in a very comparable and arguably more extreme plot position, is very involved in the revelations about himself, he always feels like a very strong character who cannot be affected by the player, and the whole situation is handled with deft emotion and care and delicacy. The story is comparatively very uninterested in litigating Emet-Selch or putting him on trial - the story allows you to simply feel the way that you feel in an organic way, and Emet's story spends that energy instead actually exploring his thematic material about grief and legacy, and the larger story theme of existentialism instead, in a way that is very refreshing and interesting. I've seen a lot of western stories tie themselves in knots over "redemption" and frankly it's almost never been interesting at all. Who cares about any of that. lol

(Now, I guess this is a matter of preference, because some people really like being able to shape a character's story, but idk I rewatched the ending of FFXIV and even though there wasn't a choice with Emet, because it isn't a branching story, his story felt more satisfying to me, maybe because there isn't a patronizing choice to be made for him. He is who he is, and he fulfills a very beautiful narrative role and purpose that no other character could in the story.)

I don't know how this could have been improved to me and still allowed players to choose Solas' ending for him, but I can actually think of a few different methods, none of which involve Rook condescendingly and patronizingly lecturing Solas as if Solas had never thought about a single aspect of this horrible situation he's in before that very moment that Rook lectures him lmfao.

All this to say... idk I'm writing this and I am not going back to edit it so it's stream-of-consciousness. But yeah

I just wanted the story to be complicated on a few more levels than I could have predicted. I genuinely don't care what happened, but I thought of a few twists like the Veil coming down and yeah, I was expecting A Single Twist or reveal to happen. In a Dragon Age game.

I wanted Solas to seem cool and capable and noble and smart, and actually feel like he was as old and experienced as he is.

I wanted a clear theme I could sink my teeth into

Like notice I didn't even say anything about Solavellan. Like I never in 100 years thought they were getting a happy ending where they were both alive in bodies, and I like that we got that, but I would honestly trade it for a more complicated story. To me, if a story is sad you can always write fanfic, but if a story isn't COMPLICATED, that's a much more urgent issue.

These 3 things DA4 didn't give me in a way that satisfied me but FFXIV did. anyway idk the way my hyperfixations work, I completely switch to a new subject so talking about Dragon Age is actually hard for me right now.

[goldensunset]

i looooove pokémon npcs whose team members subtly imply something about them that's never touched upon in the story or at least never outright said. i love villains having friendship evos. i love trainers who commit hard to one aesthetic or vibe with their team (beyond simply sharing a type) and i love it even better when there's one random exception especially if that's their ace. i love when later down the line someone boxes the cute fun soft baby pokémon they used to have in favor of a seemingly stronger or scarier one to show that they're getting serious. i love when they have a pokémon that's difficult to get and raises lots of questions about them. i love it when the lore behind a pokémon fits the character to a T and i love it even better when it appears to contradict them. give me the story-gameplay harmony but better yet give me what appears to be story-gameplay dissonance but might actually have implications if we're willing to dive deep into it

[just-your-average-tangerine]

Was forced to watch a truly incredible (derogatory) thing recently.

A young person on twitter, adamant that transandrophobia doesn't exist on the grounds that 'no one is killing/raping/assaulting trans men'.

Several people responded, including some linking articles about murders and assaults on trans men and a couple op-ed style pieces of trans men talking about their own experiences.

Said young person responded with "I'm not reading those its triggering and I'm a minor"

So let me see if I've got this correct, you are knowingly refuse to acknowledge reality because it's upsetting to you and then you're going to turn around and deny that very reality because you refuse to acknowledge it because it's upsetting?

[kaythefloppa]

I think this is the first time where I'm almost hoping we have a moderately long hiatus after the season ends simply to give me a shit-ton of time to ramble, analyze, and brainstorm about the show in ways that I couldn't during the previous mid-season hiatus.

[sanjarka]

this is not meant to be petty i promise but i find it interesting how from the beginning of being in a fandom space, from the beginning of being a part of some sort of community, even if it was just rebloging gifsets at 13, it was kind of a given that i couldn't do it in my native language or within the frame of my own culture? idk if i'm explaining it right but i just wonder how does it feel to share a language with your favorite fictional character and to talk about them in it too.

[icewindandboringhorror]

One of the interesting bits of trying to resume working on the game after so long is looking back at my ancient Draft Placeholder versions of an image from 4 yrs ago trying to remember what the hell I meant back then, to hopefully interpret it into some more final (ish..) form of the same thing .. making slow progress lol

[alicepao13]

There is one comment that I read which annoyed me and I tried to let go without mentioning it but, you know what? The poster didn't think of keeping their thoughts to themselves about it, and it's the second time this exact thing is happening in relation to one of my shows, so what the hell.

Because of the anti-AI sentiment and discourse, some of which is justified and some completely unhinged (example: if you've ever bullied disabled people online for using it to make their life easier, please rethink your life choices and touch some grass), I'd think that people would be more careful who they're accusing of using AI in art. Turns out, people are not careful.

I've read quite a few "this must have been made with AI" false accusations lately but I did not expect someone to suggest that they used AI on Hudson and Rex. On footage that has already been filmed years ago, no less, and re-used in the new intro. Most of these scenes, including footage that had been used for a S4 promo, are not new. I assume that the use of the footage from S4 is what's confusing here, along with some not-so-smooth transitions and slow motion, which is something I found jarring as well. As a fan of the show, I don't need to know the technology to say that this wasn't due to AI. But as a person who has always tried to keep up with technological advancements and understands some of the AI technology, and as an amateur (non-AI) video editor, I can say that there was no AI use anywhere on that intro.

To people who have no idea what is or isn't AI or don't know much about film/tv/video making: Please don't make accusations like that. It's that simple. And think before you make a post. Posting an opinion presented as fact on a social medium, whether you realize it or not, is like saying something out loud in a crowded (or less crowded but certainly not empty) space. Someone is bound to see it sooner or later. And in a small fandom, it's actually more likely for someone to see it, even though the number of eyeballs is likely to be small, because content is scarce and your post will not "disappear" amongst an influx of other posts.

[stopmyhearts]

alright. He/him Rachel explanation time. Or well, thinking a lot about translation choices to a degree no one ever intended.

So I am specifically talking about this passage here, that has Ian and Rachel meeting during the war:

That's the English version

And for those of you who speak some German, here's the German version:

Now I'll give you a moment to process the Ian/Rachel beach sex. Because yes, that happened

Okay, now, actually looking at this the interesting part is mostly rooted in the translation of coordinator, because in german, that word, like any noun, is going to be gendered. If you translate it properly you have to choose between der Koordinator (masculin) or die Koordinatorin (feminin). (technically in recent years there are people trying to come up with neutral versions but those aren't really used in books so far and also there's about fifteen different versions)(that's something for another day)

English only has gendered pronouns for people (well and ships), so the above passage just goes with she/her for the so far unnamed coordinator, and obviously keeps that when we learn it's Rachel.

German however has both grammatical and social gender, which often, but not always match up (for example person is feminin, girl is neutral). So these can be in conflict! For example "The girl forgot her bag" would technically be "The girl forgot its bag" in German (ignoring cases of girls using it/its here for a second). Now, in daily use you often use she too because that is the social gender and what you use when you otherwise refer to a person by name.

The kind of weird part here is that they don't actually translate coordinator at all. I suspect this is related to the somewhat odd way they've been translating titles in all of this book. They appear to not want to use words that are obviously English, while also maintaining a British feel to all of it. Which is why Ian for example is not a Group Captain (suppose Group is too obviously English?) but a Colonel. I don't know why they did that. It vexes me. I'd either translate them entirely (Hauptmann Gilmore has a good sound imo) or just kept them all. So they keep coordinator.

But, this is a word, which, while technically not German, is gendered (the German language is very good at taking foreign words and making them bow to the grammar. It's kind of impressive). And it is gendered masculin. So to make sure we know this is a woman, they add 'weiblich' aka female in front of it. And then, for grammatical reasons, use he/him throughout the paragraph.

I'm really not sure why they did that. Especially since in the following paragraph they switch to she/her before Rachel is even named. If you're doing shenanigans like this, that is where I'd expect the switch (since names are generally where you'd switch to the social gender pronouns).

But either way, it's now put the concept of he/him Rachel in my head. Which is obviously incredible.

Also, fun thing I noted: in the German version Rachel is swearing, not intoning the flight courses

did I tell y'all about the he/him Rachel in the german remembrance novelisation

because I love him

[lord-squiggletits]

I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like

I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?

Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.

So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???

It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.

I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically

[queenerdloser]

literally hyperfocused so much i spent about seven hours getting a semi-polished draft of my statement of purpose completed. jesus christ??? weeks of farting around with it and one day of actual work that got it to a state that's shareable and like 85% completed... yes that IS so typical of my work habits lmao.